91-Year-Old Ignores Police, Daughter, Everyone to Game

Every gamer alive knows the feeling: you're locked in, you're on a run, and the phone might as well not exist. Most of us are just ignoring a group chat or a food delivery driver. This woman ignored the police.

On Thursday, April 9, a 91-year-old Westlake, Ohio resident missed her daily call from the city's "Are You Okay?" program, which checks in on elderly and disabled residents every day. When she didn't pick up, dispatchers called again. Her daughter called. Police called. Nobody got through. Officers were sent to her home, and when she didn't answer the door either, they let themselves in through the garage. According to the dispatched officer's report: "We're here with her now, she's playing video games in her bedroom." The woman was reportedly "trying to beat her record" and was thankful for the visit, though I have to imagine there was at least a flicker of annoyance at the interruption.

I love this story because it's the most relatable thing I've read all week. Westlake Police Captain Jerry Vogel told News 5 Cleveland that "everyone got a good laugh out of it," and stressed that the check-in program has saved lives in the past. But the real crime here is that nobody, not the police, not the news crew, thought to ask the only question that matters: what game was she playing? If she's grinding for a high score at 91, she's earned the right to have her game of choice on the record. Someone in Westlake PD needs to file a follow-up.